Rhona offers confidence boosting tips to HuffPost UK Lifestyle.
Rhona: “It’s a popular misconception that confidence and self-esteem are based on luck. But luck doesn’t have anything to do with it. Confidence is something we build, and like a muscle it strengthens with practice and simple (preferably daily) consistent actions. With dedication, even those starting with low self-esteem are able to create a healthy sense of confidence.”
And if you can crack confidence, the rest will fall into place, according to Clews: “Confidence is like the floorboards underneath your life, affecting every area: relationships, finances, career, creativity, romance, home life, relationship with self, body confidence. When you increase your confidence, you transform and improve every area of your life. Confidence is magnetic, it creates ease and flow; it is the antidote to struggle and worry.”
Here are a few simple tips for overcoming self-doubt and boosting the inner confidence that lies in all of us.
1. Go on a negativity fast
Habits such as criticism, gossip and judgement (of ourselves and others) waste our energy and drag us and everyone down. “Going on a negativity fast means committing to refuse to complain, whine, moan, criticise, gossip or judge, at the very least with your speaking. Start with one hour, then expand to half a day, a whole day, a few days, a week etc. Ask a friend to join you to help hold each other accountable! Watch your energy rise, your confidence increase and your relationships improve as a result!”
2. Stop trying to be liked
Next time you find yourself obsessively refreshing your phone to see how many ‘likes’ your latest Facebook post has garnered, think about what it is you’re really hoping to gain. “Be mindful of ‘other esteem’ (our sense of worth being dependent on others’ views of us) vs ‘self-esteem’ (knowing we are inherently worthy),” says Clews. “Many of us are caught in the trap of people-pleasing and codependency, thinking that if we please others enough, we will feel good about ourselves. Social media can easily lead us back into this trap, thinking our sense of worth is dependent on how many ‘likes’ we have.”
3. Be authentic in what you commit to: Clews: “Say yes when you mean yes and no when you actually mean no. This will give you time to commit to your own passions and interests and means time off from activities which leave you tired and drained e.g. do you really need to show up to the works drinks every week? Short term side effects may include guilt as you put yourself first but the long term gain of authentic relationships and increased confidence are well worth it! Self esteem rises when our inner and outer worlds are in alignment and this starts with you!”
Read abridged version of this article here
Words by Georgia James. Top image by Rhona Clews.